It’s a rental

 Once again…Florida does not disappoint…the family coined saying of “it’s a rental “. Nothing here is permanent, other than AJ, Amy, & the girls. It is pure hell…I despise God for everything. He created this ugliness, the agony of despair. Florida is nothing more than a foul stench. I hate it here and I hate anything to do with it. Now that we must move because the rent increased so much, we might as well leave this horrid place. I now hate Disney…swimming pools, going out anywhere….it’s the most vile place ever. Meeting that man today who said…you’re from Oregon…what do you think of Florida??? My response, I wouldn’t give you a plugged nickel for this horrible place, my only reason to stay is our family, they’re worth a million dollars. He agreed and said he hopes I will like it soon. I think my true reason for my complete disdain is that I have no roots here…so maybe purchasing a condo will do the trick.

So here is the list…

Must be cost effective…must keep a solid savings account

Air conditioning 

Washer/dryer

Patio

I’m going to look in other areas beside 34747 & 34746

I live in constant hatred 

Overwhelming sadness 

Conversation

 It seems that imagining sitting with Aslan help me navigate my ever changing emotions. Even with the nice cooler mornings, I ache to be somewhere else. 

Cool mornings

 The mornings are finally cooler, humidity is manageable…I can bake a bit, open the windows and feel a cool breeze. The evenings are pleasant and I long to find a place with a porch/deck of some nature so I can enjoy it. The area has many snakes, as well as alligators and a multitude of bugs:( at this point I can tolerate most. I’m managing better in the car, have driven a couple of places. Mark & I will be going out for a “cheap” date on Wednesdays. We’re going to go to hobby lobby and look for a little artificial tree tomorrow. We’ll probably get a light lunch & a coffee drink. I still worry about how we can afford a place, prices are mostly out of our range especially with the 20% down, leaving us little to have in the bank. We’re leaving next Friday to fly and visit Dave coming back on Wednesday evening. I’m now uncomfortable with flying but must buckle down because that’s the only way I’ll be able to see them. The car part has to come so we can do any real driving. So….how do I like Florida, 6/7 months here…no, I don’t like it, but I don’t despise it as much as before. It’s still chaotic, way too many people, over priced. If Amy & AJ moved I would be happier. The girls still bless my heart, especially Rylee, she’s such a joy! The littles are fun too, just a lot more work. Amy is the best for me by challenging me and helping me through the tough times. Last night, Amy, Rylee, & me went to Hobby Lobby for Christmas decorations…it was fun, but the cloud of sadness was still very present.