Back home from our short trip to visit Dave & family. Flew out early Saturday morning, got home late Sunday night. It was a great trip. I think the “settled “ feeling I look for here in Florida is there at Dave’s because of their house. Tiffany has been working on creating a lovely comfortable environment and I feel it immediately when we walk inside. We also sleep quite well. We’ll be back in August for a few more days, which is fun to be with them and watch Hezekiah grow up. I keep looking for cheap airline tickets…I could easily go every 2 weeks just for 1 night. When we got home I was totally exhausted and still am today (Tuesday) but so worth the exhaustion. Today, got up early, went to Amy’s and picked up Ellie to take her to church for their VBS. Yesterday AJ took her because I was exhausted but I’ll take her the rest of the week. It’s just in the morning from 8:30 to 12:30, cost only $40 and includes a breakfast, snack, and lunch. It’s nice to have a schedule of healthy activities, keeps my mind in a better place. While waiting for Ellie I plan to work on my needlework, plus today I have to go to the needle shop and pick up the patterns I want to work on. They are the JBW designs, a French style and they look great when done.

Now…Florida…I still don’t like it a all. I’m working on a plan. Lots of people are away from their families, they just get together once a year…maybe that will be a good option. Maybe staying on the east coast, finding a place in the mountains (possibly the Smokey mountains) then travel a bit to see each child and plan a nice family vacation once a year. Since we were here in April and got a small taste of spring, it was warm, rainy but ok…summer is not fun at all, it’s always sooooo hot and humid. I get sunburned every day, but the heat drains me of any energy. Finding a way to walk (malls are so far away, or outside and still quite ugly) hence no walks for me. Mark and I had a horrible argument before our trip to visit Dave, again, he’s been so self focused that he can’t think of anyone else and boy does his words cut and hurt…we talked about this again ad so I’m trying to tell him ways to not be so painful in talking with me.

Right now I’m at Starbucks, yes it’s air conditioned but when you step outside it’s like you’ve walking into the fire. I really hate it. I’m going to head out to sit by the little alligator filled lake and do my needle work before the store opens and I have to pick up Ellie. This should be fun, but the heat robs me of any kind of enjoyment…I do try to accept this environment but yikes, it’s almost impossible to find anything nice here.

I have friends from Celebration church, they understand and are helpful, but the overwhelming sadness is mounting and I’m finding it so difficult to deal with. Fortunately this week every morning I’m busy getting Ellie to church, next week Leslie will be here and we’ll watch the littles. Then the following week we head back to Dave’s, plus I want to purchase some household things for her new apartment. I’ve got the budget worked out, am on track, but shopping for Amy can be a challenge because I want her to have everything. 

I’ll just take it one day at a time..think about the positive activities ahead, plan for some more fun things, and maybe something will happen.